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[ His next text comes about ten minutes later. ] What would you wanna name the next one?

don't know. depends on what it looks like

What if it was a whale? [ What do you even name those anyway? ]

not all whales are the same, don't be whale-racist

I know that. But you shouldn't name something only because of what it looks like.

well how do i know one whale's going to have the same personality as another whale? that's still messed up

[ Steve thinks on that a little, and then: ]

Why did you name the goldfish Rupert?

because he looked like a fucking rupert, i don't know, i didnt have a crisis over it or anything

I thought you might have had a reason for it.

[ Not that it really explains much of anything anyway. Why they're trading fish drawings, why they're discussing the names of these hypothetical fish like they're real. It sends a thousand questions surfacing, and after another ten minutes or so, he finally sends: ]

Can I ask you something personal?

i guess he seemed kind of dignified

[ and rupert feels like a dignified named, but also kind of dorky. the shift has him frowning at his phone a second, curious and a little wary, but he figures it's alright. after all, he doesn't have to answer if he doesn't want to. ]

i guess. what?

[ That response almost makes him smile, wondering if a goldfish can really be so dignified, but it's overshadowed by the words he types into the MID, frowning as he does because he has no idea if he's even allowed to ask something like this. It feels like a simple question. Still, he has a lot to learn about Andyr and where he comes from. ]

Why fish?

why what? why do i like them?

Why are they important to you.

they aren't really. important. i mean, they're cool and it's interesting, but they're just fish, you know, they're pretty dumb.

i just know a lot about them

[ there's a bit of pause before the next set of messages ]

for a while all i had to do was read this stupid fucking marine biology book. just stuck in this room and that's the only book i had, so that's what i did.

went through it four times the first year, put it away once i got more, but i don't know, i liked memorizing stuff in it. so i just kept getting more fish books and crap.

[ There's a lot he could say and a lot he doesn't try to voice. Steve can only guess what that must have been like, living in a world that effectively kept you in a cage; he's seen it done to someone very close to him, has seen what it does if it goes on too long. But at least Andyr still has his own mind, and that's important to think about as he reads all those messages—a soft smile and then a frown on his face. He wants to give an honest piece of himself to this person, and he's not sure why. ]

When I was younger, drawing was the only thing I thought I could do. You know... didn't really have the stamina to be out like the kids my age even though I tried until I got too sick or [ He stops there almost immediately. He'd almost said or his mother made him stay in, and his chest feels tight. ] Anyway, I know it's not the same, but I get it. I think there are plenty of books about alien fish in the library if you're ever that bored.

[ andyr doesn't fucking get steve rogers. no one here's tried as hard to get to know him as this guy has, especially when he's aware andyr's freaking stalking him - not the fanboy kind of stalking, the 'i'm not certain i don't want to kill you in your sleep yet' kind of stalking. andyr hasn't exactly been shy about that.

and yet, here he is, trying to relate. no, it's not the same, and while andyr might've brushed it off from someone else who didn't have this trend of giving so much of a shit like rogers, he doesn't here. instead, he's reading over the message a couple times, imagining steve as someone small and frail, stuck in a sick bed. ]

already started on them

but thanks

[ it's difficult to decide what else to say to him on that. express sympathy? he does feel some kind of empathy for that. but it's all so bizarre, and there's still the nagging feeling that this isn't what he's acting like it is. one reason in particular sticking out, and after a long moment, a second message is sent ]

you don't have to be nice to me just cause i look like him, you know. i know there's some similar shit with us, but we're not the same.

[ not nearly. even if they've both been twisted from what they were, and abused, bucky's something collapsed in, and andyr's something exploded out. where barnes is something wounded and mending, andyr'd leaned into the broken, snapped himself before it could be done to him, and rearranged the pieces into something worse. ]

[ This is why he hates text messages. Technology is great for convenience, but the personal touch has been completely erased from it. He can't gauge Andyr's honest reaction like this, why he would assume that Steve is friendly with him solely because there are some similarities between him and his best friend, but he's put that far behind him now. He knows they're different, completely in every way that define a person, and he doesn't think he would trade that for someone who reminded him of Bucky as he'd been when they'd grown up or someone who could be Andyr without the surliness. Steve's frowning hard now, lets the message sit for a few minute before he starts to type out a reply.

Doubt you could be even if that's what I wanted.

He erases it and starts again. ]

I'm not doing anything I wouldn't do for someone else I'd want to get to know. I think we could learn a lot from each other. [ After all, Steve's not free of those things that twist and distort them; most days, he just carries it a little better, a little softer. Sometimes, it's too hard to see beneath the responsibility that breaks him down first. ] Unless you don't want to do this.

[ Talk to him. Get to know him. It's all about choice, and Steve is openly giving that to him. ]

[ there’s another lengthy pause from andyr’s end of the transmission, reading the words once, and going back over them again slowly, like trying to look for hidden messages, ulterior motives, things between the lines. How much is there really to know about him, and what had he done to make Steve think it was any kind of valuable?

He’s angry and he likes fish, so what? Everything that drives him these days is just a visceral hatred for the Houses, and on the Moira all he’s doing is bidding his time until he’s sent back home, dropped right back into the fray. So, what then? ]

what is it you think you’re gonna learn from me? other than how to kill someone with a feather duster, i guess

[ Maybe he should give him a real answer, but Steve doesn't actually know what that is or what it might be. He just knows this feels right somehow, in some way that's not so easily explained. ]

I guess everyone should know things like that at some point. But for now, you could tell me more about fish. If you want.

got a quick tutorial for dust pans too

[ it would be funny if it weren't actually true. custodial carts has since been forbidden in halls andyr is walked through. as for steve's sentiments, he's still not terribly sure what to think of it, but he figures, whatever. talking doesn't hurt anything. ]

dude. no one actually wants to hear about fish. it's okay.

[ Talking certainly doesn't hurt anything at all. In fact, he hopes it'll help ground some trust between them eventually. ]

If that's what you want to talk about, I don't mind listening. [ Whatever he wanted to say, when he felt he needed to say it. Steve, at least, can do that much. Sometimes, it's really the only thing he can do. ]

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1/4 lololol

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done

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