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[ there was a time. once. two months into being held in hapsburg. but he doesn't talk about that, and it was before alva knew him, so it makes sense he wouldn't know. ]

brainwipe? he knew who he was, or at least, seemed like it. didn't say much about where he was from or what happened. sure as hell didn't like me telling him what a template is. sort of mind fucked, but who isn't these days?

i'm bringing you one of steve rogers' hairs to test for KN. couldn't get one off barnes, though.

Edited 2016-07-27 08:11 (UTC)

I've seen enough memory wipes done badly.

[ Perils of the job. They bring in a clone causing problems, and they wipe them clean, but sometimes the memories stick, or something goes wrong and they stop "working". As if they're not flesh and blood, too. ]

I hear there's still some sane people left back in the lower districts. If you believe it.

Don't worry about Barnes for now. You took them for me?

you know mikal's got half my life in his head, right? how fucked up must he feel?

[ just conversational. he's not surprised by it. andyr'd never really asked mikal what it felt like. it was too weird to begin with, and mikal was enough his own person that he didn't think it screwed him up too badly. they'd actually thought doing it would stabilize him. christ. ]

i'm from the lower districts, dork, they're all still nuts there, just a different kind.

to test, so we could be sure he's not a clone, yeah? unless you know someone else who'd be able to tell.

Hey, what's a farm-bred Alaskan gonna know about that now.

[ Conversations that are easy, that aren't loaded - the simpler pleasures that Alva never thought he'd miss in his life. He wonders how any of them do it. This. Live. ]

I can do this.

Thank you.

And that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. It's Miray.

Edited 2016-07-27 08:35 (UTC)

did you like wrestle bears and ride a reindeer and catch salmon with your hands as a kid or something? that's what i think about when you say that.

[ they are easy. easier than the moment miray showed up, that is, and the talk alva had with him directly after. speaking of, he's now walking a little slower. maybe thinking of bringing this test hair to him later, or send it with val. because he doesn't want this conversation, least of all in person. ]

what about her?

Edited 2016-07-27 08:53 (UTC)

She doesn't know about Avis. Let's keep it that way.

[ He has a lot of reasons to keep quiet about it, the most important one being that he knows how she's like, how her future panned out - this could hurt her so much, and he's spent three of her lifetimes trying and failing to keep her from it.

Maybe that's the problem. He's trying for a fool's errand. ]

Please.

[ oh.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

HAHAHA

HA.

fuck. ]

you're gonna be mad at me

[ oh.

okay then. ]

Well, I tried.

How did she take it?

[ he'd honestly thought it'd be easier on alva this way. not make him the one having to tell her and crush her. not having to stand next to her looking so stupid loving of him and hold onto all these secrets. he knows alva, he knows what it's been for him to watch her all this time.

he knew what v5 coming here suddenly would feel like too. so he'd just done it. for better or worse. ]

cried, at first. i told her about what they made you do, then what happened with v6.

she pretty much exploded rainbows hearing about avis, though. so i think she's good with it.

[ "good with it" ]

i just told her you guys had a son, and we sent the both of them to alaska. she wanted more but i said that should come from you.

[ secretly, not so much out of respect for alva, but because he couldn't fucking stand there and tell miray about the domestic bliss she was creating with the man he'd just slept with three days prior. there's a lot andyr can take, but that's not something he's willing to put himself through. not for miray, of all people. ]

I don't think I can talk to her about kids, Andyr.

Not right now.

[ There are so few people on the godforsaken earth that they call home that Alva would ever die for - Miray was one of them, was because there's been three of her and each one was different, just as Andyr and Mikal had been different despite being so much of the same. And there's been so much loss. So much of it, piling up on top of each other over the past six years.

He can't lose her. He can't lose him, either. He can't lose any more than he's already lost, than they have all already lost.

How much is enough? If there's a god listening - how much is fucking enough? ]

This is messed up. I'm messed up.

[ shit. he should've just kept quiet and let miray do whatever the hell she wanted. ]

want me to do it?

[ does he want to? no. will it be completely miserable for him? yes. will he do it, just because he wants to spare alva from the pain of it? absolutely.

much as andyr shouts and growls and postures defiant and stubborn, there's some things he'll cave for every time. some people he'd go to the ends of the earth and back for. it's unfortunate for him that alva's one of them. ]

we came from a messed up place. you're allowed to be a little fucked in the head from it.

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rly short tag just so we can! continue!!!

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