[SAV] IC INBOX/MAILBOX

[deconstruct]

I N B O X

IC Contact " It's Andyr. Do your thing. " Mun Contact • PLURK: Wuzzafuzzle • Journal PM

Comments

[procedures]

She doesn't know about Avis. Let's keep it that way.

[ He has a lot of reasons to keep quiet about it, the most important one being that he knows how she's like, how her future panned out - this could hurt her so much, and he's spent three of her lifetimes trying and failing to keep her from it.

Maybe that's the problem. He's trying for a fool's errand. ]

Please.

[deconstruct]

[ oh.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

HAHAHA




HA.


fuck. ]


you're gonna be mad at me

[procedures]

[ oh.










okay then. ]

Well, I tried.

How did she take it?

[deconstruct]

[ he'd honestly thought it'd be easier on alva this way. not make him the one having to tell her and crush her. not having to stand next to her looking so stupid loving of him and hold onto all these secrets. he knows alva, he knows what it's been for him to watch her all this time.

he knew what v5 coming here suddenly would feel like too. so he'd just done it. for better or worse. ]

cried, at first. i told her about what they made you do, then what happened with v6.

she pretty much exploded rainbows hearing about avis, though. so i think she's good with it.

[ "good with it" ]

i just told her you guys had a son, and we sent the both of them to alaska. she wanted more but i said that should come from you.

[ secretly, not so much out of respect for alva, but because he couldn't fucking stand there and tell miray about the domestic bliss she was creating with the man he'd just slept with three days prior. there's a lot andyr can take, but that's not something he's willing to put himself through. not for miray, of all people. ]

rly short tag just so we can! continue!!!

[procedures]

I don't think I can talk to her about kids, Andyr.

Not right now.

[ There are so few people on the godforsaken earth that they call home that Alva would ever die for - Miray was one of them, was because there's been three of her and each one was different, just as Andyr and Mikal had been different despite being so much of the same. And there's been so much loss. So much of it, piling up on top of each other over the past six years.

He can't lose her. He can't lose him, either. He can't lose any more than he's already lost, than they have all already lost.

How much is enough? If there's a god listening - how much is fucking enough? ]

This is messed up. I'm messed up.

[deconstruct]

[ shit. he should've just kept quiet and let miray do whatever the hell she wanted. ]

want me to do it?

[ does he want to? no. will it be completely miserable for him? yes. will he do it, just because he wants to spare alva from the pain of it? absolutely.

much as andyr shouts and growls and postures defiant and stubborn, there's some things he'll cave for every time. some people he'd go to the ends of the earth and back for. it's unfortunate for him that alva's one of them. ]

we came from a messed up place. you're allowed to be a little fucked in the head from it.