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IC Contact " It's Andyr. Do your thing. " Mun Contact • PLURK: Wuzzafuzzle • Journal PM

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[deconstruct]

[ andyr watches adam and his certainty in ronan's survival. as much as he's been telling ronan to refuse to die, he knows, 95% of the time, the bad end is the reality, and hope only makes the life before it a bit more bearable. better to have it be something of a surprise, so as not to live while already dead inside.

it brings to mind, again, that adam barely knows anything about where andyr'd come from, including the fact he'll most likely be dead too within five hours of being back home.

none of this he brings up now. adam's right, he deserves to stop hurting, and andyr scoots forward, pulling the smaller boy into his arms, folding adam against his chest, his chin setting on top of ruffled blond hair. ]

Shh, you're not a mistake. You were never broken trailer trash to any of us. [ andyr rocks him, bundling adam up into his arms, wrapping around him. ] If you were, then I'm broken gutter trash, and Ronan's broken farm hick punk trash.

[unaffluent]

[ Adam doesn't resist, instantly falling into Andyr's hold, curling into him. His arms slid around him as he closed his eyes feeling tears burning his eyes again but he again tries to blink them away. As much as this won't stop the hurt that's already there he still thinks this is the way to stop opening more wounds, to stop making the ones he already has worse. It's selfish but he knows he can't keep taking more and more.

His arms are tight around Anydr, his face pressing into his chest and he exhales shakily almost laughing at the words. He's always been a mistake, his birth was a mistake. Maybe Ronan is right and the only reason Ronan cares for him is because of a deal with Cabeswater. If that hadn't happened it never would have been Adam. ]

That's not how it works. [ He mumbles but that's all the argument he has. He just wants to hold Andyr and be held by him, stay in the warmth of something that's still surprisingly whole and warm. He doesn't know how this is the part of everything that's not broken, that doesn't hurt. He feels a burning need to protect and preserve it. ]