[ there won't be a time, Andyr thinks, that they won't miss Ronan, even if things go exactly how he wants them. If him and Adam have each other to love and support on another when Ronan goes, if they aren't alone in their grief. They'll still always love him, and always long for him. They'll just do so together.
And because of that, he doesn't want Ronan trying to ween then off of him. Nothing will make losing Ronan less devastating for the two of them, so better they just soak him up while they can. ]
Don't leave us any sooner than you have to. [ Andyr lifts his head, hands on Ronan's cheeks as he kisses him soft and slow. ]
[Ronan can't promise that, so he says nothing. He'll do whatever seems best, and it might mean ending his life even before the demon can consume him, to save Adam or any of the others. There's simply no telling at this point.
He can at least allow himself to keep loving Adam and Andyr until that day comes. He returns Andyr's kiss, pressing closer to him, his hand finding Andyr's heart. He couldn't bear being without the two of them. Not for any significant amount of time. Ronan only wants them to be prepared.]
[ he knows it's more complicated than that, and Andyr wouldn't blame Ronan for cutting it short, either to save a friend or skip the agony of it. All he wants, now, is to enjoy the time they have together. To fill his mind to the brim with beautiful memories of Ronan, like this, with his warm palm over andyr's heart, and andyr's arms around ronan's waist, tugging his body closer. He doesn't argue it any further. He and ronan already had that talk, a few million times over.
For a long few minutes, andyr's content to kiss him, deep and long and loving. Until a thought occurs, and he pauses, teeth tugging at his own lip and nerves build to bring up the subject. ]
Since we're not doing that rule anymore... does that mean me and you too? [ sex, that is. Making love in the way they'd felt the urge to since that first night in the tent. ] Not right now, I mean, but. You know.
[Ronan would never have expected that question, though it seems like he should have once Andyr raises it. His heart skips a beat at the thought. He wants to, of course. He's wanted it since that night. But all of the things that stood in his way then remain applicable now. He isn't married to Andyr.]
I'm saving myself.
[Maybe Andyr doesn't know.]
Adam hasn't... You know. No one's ever been inside me.
[Not for lack of trying. Ronan remains stubborn about it. But he's willing to give Andyr as much as he's given Adam, of course. That barrier's already broken, anyway.]
If you wanted me to, though, it... You should ask Adam if I'm allowed. I don't know.
[And he's run into a lot of trouble trying to guess what Adam's boundaries are.]
[ making ronan nervous is the last thing andyr wants, though he has his own jitters spiking through him, with the topic. they dance the words around it, like embarrassed kids, and really, they kind of are, but andyr strokes over ronan's cheek, shaking his head with a smile. ]
It's okay. We don't have to.
[ at all, not even an 'if you want me to', because it isn't about if one of them does and the other doesn't. either they both want it, or nothing. ]
If you want me to, I'll ask. [ he can brave adam's scathing wrath, thinks he can at least work with the fact that he's an idiot and entirely new to this whole dating thing to save some face. ] We don't have to do it like that, though. If you wanna save that for your wedding.
[ andyr doesn't have to be inside him, he means. ]
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[ there won't be a time, Andyr thinks, that they won't miss Ronan, even if things go exactly how he wants them. If him and Adam have each other to love and support on another when Ronan goes, if they aren't alone in their grief. They'll still always love him, and always long for him. They'll just do so together.
And because of that, he doesn't want Ronan trying to ween then off of him. Nothing will make losing Ronan less devastating for the two of them, so better they just soak him up while they can. ]
Don't leave us any sooner than you have to. [ Andyr lifts his head, hands on Ronan's cheeks as he kisses him soft and slow. ]
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He can at least allow himself to keep loving Adam and Andyr until that day comes. He returns Andyr's kiss, pressing closer to him, his hand finding Andyr's heart. He couldn't bear being without the two of them. Not for any significant amount of time. Ronan only wants them to be prepared.]
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For a long few minutes, andyr's content to kiss him, deep and long and loving. Until a thought occurs, and he pauses, teeth tugging at his own lip and nerves build to bring up the subject. ]
Since we're not doing that rule anymore... does that mean me and you too? [ sex, that is. Making love in the way they'd felt the urge to since that first night in the tent. ] Not right now, I mean, but. You know.
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I'm saving myself.
[Maybe Andyr doesn't know.]
Adam hasn't... You know. No one's ever been inside me.
[Not for lack of trying. Ronan remains stubborn about it. But he's willing to give Andyr as much as he's given Adam, of course. That barrier's already broken, anyway.]
If you wanted me to, though, it... You should ask Adam if I'm allowed. I don't know.
[And he's run into a lot of trouble trying to guess what Adam's boundaries are.]
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It's okay. We don't have to.
[ at all, not even an 'if you want me to', because it isn't about if one of them does and the other doesn't. either they both want it, or nothing. ]
If you want me to, I'll ask. [ he can brave adam's scathing wrath, thinks he can at least work with the fact that he's an idiot and entirely new to this whole dating thing to save some face. ] We don't have to do it like that, though. If you wanna save that for your wedding.
[ andyr doesn't have to be inside him, he means. ]