[ after the first sentence of it, andyr's eyes gradually raise to ronan, realization dawning on him apparent, with eyes wide, something like horror in the distant expression. adam's father, someone who'd been supposed to love him, beat him so badly he'd gone deaf in one ear. and andyr had just punched ronan to the ground, the love of his life, and him, being someone he'd cared enough about to ask for sex. how much more horrific would it have been if he didn't have the sense to pull his punch? if he'd made him bleed?
andyr's lips part, and he can't even fathom words for this. adam must be terrified of him, or disgusted, or both. how could he ever possibly want andyr touching him again? ]
I shouldn't be here.
[ not clear if he means at monmouth, or with them, or both. if he'd stopped to think for two seconds, instead of just decided he'd be fine by force of will alone, he'd have seen that before any of this mess. ]
You wouldn't live through me taking it out on you. [ whispered quietly, but empty. before, he'd done it with bucky, who was skilled enough to avoid the worst hits, and sturdy enough to take the others, and powerful enough to knock andyr on his ass if he'd gotten carried away. ronan, brittle as unaltered and young as he is, wouldn't survive two full throttle hits from him. andyr swallows, and nods, a blankness in his voice, but a decision made. ] He won't see it again. I promise.
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andyr's lips part, and he can't even fathom words for this. adam must be terrified of him, or disgusted, or both. how could he ever possibly want andyr touching him again? ]
I shouldn't be here.
[ not clear if he means at monmouth, or with them, or both. if he'd stopped to think for two seconds, instead of just decided he'd be fine by force of will alone, he'd have seen that before any of this mess. ]
You wouldn't live through me taking it out on you. [ whispered quietly, but empty. before, he'd done it with bucky, who was skilled enough to avoid the worst hits, and sturdy enough to take the others, and powerful enough to knock andyr on his ass if he'd gotten carried away. ronan, brittle as unaltered and young as he is, wouldn't survive two full throttle hits from him. andyr swallows, and nods, a blankness in his voice, but a decision made. ] He won't see it again. I promise.