Because my happiness isn't about having everything.
[Is that something that someone like Adam - who has always lived in state of constant need and who's driven by ambition above all - can possibly understand?]
Religion's a joke to you, I get it, but I'd be fucking out of control without it. A thing like me... I can take everything I want. Do you know what Kavinsky does? He kills the people in his life who don't act like he wants them to and replaces them with dreams. That's what it looks like when monsters like us do whatever the fuck we want.
All the stupid rules you laugh about are the only things keeping me sane. And I know I'm not perfect, and no matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be good. But if I let myself have more and more and more, where does it end?
Look how much I've ruined already, just allowing myself to have this. I'm losing both of you.
no subject
[Is that something that someone like Adam - who has always lived in state of constant need and who's driven by ambition above all - can possibly understand?]
Religion's a joke to you, I get it, but I'd be fucking out of control without it. A thing like me... I can take everything I want. Do you know what Kavinsky does? He kills the people in his life who don't act like he wants them to and replaces them with dreams. That's what it looks like when monsters like us do whatever the fuck we want.
All the stupid rules you laugh about are the only things keeping me sane. And I know I'm not perfect, and no matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be good. But if I let myself have more and more and more, where does it end?
Look how much I've ruined already, just allowing myself to have this. I'm losing both of you.