[ ronan's blank stoicism is perhaps more alarming than anything else. he'd always been the first to reassure him in the past, like he couldn't hold it in him, and it's unsettling to see ronan giving him nothing now. it's a thing that seems so solid a sign to andyr that, by the time ronan's reaching forward for him and trying to ease him into the idea, andyr's already decided there's a lie somewhere.

not in ronan's words, because he doesn't lie, but in the space around the words. in how he holds himself, how he talks, the idea that he's completely fine and eager to this. any of this. ]

Only 'cause you think he's not yours anymore. [ andyr near whispers, eyes on ronan. he doesn't want to keep trying to suck it up and carry on like just a little more fooling around will wipe that hurt out of ronan's eyes. ] Not the way you were dreaming about.

[ the kind of eternally bonded soulmate ronan had believed them to be. he can't do this as a consequence of ronan believing he'd deserved to be cast out of true, whole love. not with either of them. andyr's knees draw up to his chest, chin sitting on top of them for a moment, as his thumb traces at the side of adam's hand, a nervous tick, thinking. ]

When both of you know you're everything to each other, I'll do it. [ it comes out quiet, but audible. ] Not just say, not just think - know.