[ this is convoluted and not at all what he'd planned to get into when he came to talk to adam, but there doesn't seem like another road to take. anything else feels like it would just drag them further downward. he'd felt fine just watching the two of them, and bending over backwards to try to make them find a place where they could just freaking be happy, as if andyr could somehow feel some sort of vicarious satisfaction through it, but this feels like asking for disaster. it's what he does, isn't it? bring disaster? at least, before, he thought he could angle it towards something beneficial for someone else.
maybe adam does know best. maybe he understands ronan better than either of them do. probably, considering what he's been to him, in comparison to the few months andyr's known him. ronan twists back to look to him, though, and he knows he's falling apart just as much, confused and lost and hurt and scared, and yes, he does want to kiss him.
he wants to hold him close and bury himself in him and pretend that's all that matters in the world for just a little bit. he'd failed him in trying to fix this, after he'd assured him that they would, and he can't imagine why ronan would want to have anything of him now, but andyr prince is a selfish creature. he wants to tell him it'll be okay, they'll do this, and it'll work. but he doesn't know any better than the rest of them, so he takes this comfort he doesn't deserve either way, fingers curling in ronan's clothes as he lifts his lips to kiss him. ]
I always want to kiss you. [ andyr mutters, arms around him squeezing tighter, a palm rubbing along his back in what he wishes could be soothing, as he meets his lips again, slow and soft, and full of longing and apology. ]
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maybe adam does know best. maybe he understands ronan better than either of them do. probably, considering what he's been to him, in comparison to the few months andyr's known him. ronan twists back to look to him, though, and he knows he's falling apart just as much, confused and lost and hurt and scared, and yes, he does want to kiss him.
he wants to hold him close and bury himself in him and pretend that's all that matters in the world for just a little bit. he'd failed him in trying to fix this, after he'd assured him that they would, and he can't imagine why ronan would want to have anything of him now, but andyr prince is a selfish creature. he wants to tell him it'll be okay, they'll do this, and it'll work. but he doesn't know any better than the rest of them, so he takes this comfort he doesn't deserve either way, fingers curling in ronan's clothes as he lifts his lips to kiss him. ]
I always want to kiss you. [ andyr mutters, arms around him squeezing tighter, a palm rubbing along his back in what he wishes could be soothing, as he meets his lips again, slow and soft, and full of longing and apology. ]