[Maybe it's cruel to point that out. It's not as if either of them have forgotten. But he's allowed to make this about him when it's actually about him. They don't get to pretend it didn't shake them up to find him the way they did, as if his mortality isn't looming over the way they treat him at all times. Ronan returns his gaze to Adam.]
Stop blaming yourself. You're the reason I'm alive, not the reason I tried to kill myself. Both of you. You both get to be mad at me for doing that to you. Instead it's like I've got a gun to your heads. Jesus, fuck trying to make me happy. Make your goddamn selves happy. Or else the only memory of me you're gonna have when I'm gone is bitterness about all that time you wasted bending over backwards to please this exhausting fucker.
[For all those burning words, his touch is tender as his fingers brush against Adam's hand.]
I don't think the timing was an accident. You regretted it, being with me. You're trying to look for a way to fix that feeling. It's easier for you to think you're not enough for me than to just admit that I'm unbearable. I've hurt you in ways that can't be undone.
no subject
Everything is ending.
[Maybe it's cruel to point that out. It's not as if either of them have forgotten. But he's allowed to make this about him when it's actually about him. They don't get to pretend it didn't shake them up to find him the way they did, as if his mortality isn't looming over the way they treat him at all times. Ronan returns his gaze to Adam.]
Stop blaming yourself. You're the reason I'm alive, not the reason I tried to kill myself. Both of you. You both get to be mad at me for doing that to you. Instead it's like I've got a gun to your heads. Jesus, fuck trying to make me happy. Make your goddamn selves happy. Or else the only memory of me you're gonna have when I'm gone is bitterness about all that time you wasted bending over backwards to please this exhausting fucker.
[For all those burning words, his touch is tender as his fingers brush against Adam's hand.]
I don't think the timing was an accident. You regretted it, being with me. You're trying to look for a way to fix that feeling. It's easier for you to think you're not enough for me than to just admit that I'm unbearable. I've hurt you in ways that can't be undone.